


My Relationship with Herbert West

by HerSpecialAgent



Category: Herbert West - Reanimator - H. P. Lovecraft, Re-Animator (Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crawford Tillinghast - Freeform, Eventual Smut, F/M, From Beyond - Freeform, Herbert has a female accomplice, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-03-04 17:39:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13369800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerSpecialAgent/pseuds/HerSpecialAgent
Summary: ‘What is that?’ I asked him completely transfixed.‘This…is my reagent’ He answered.Watching his captivated gaze as he admired his work, it became abundantly clear that this was the love of Herbert West’s life. And the longer I looked at it, the more I understood why.





	1. It's going to be a pleasure to fail you

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this years ago, not long after I first watched the Re-Animator films. I completely fell in love with them and therefore had to write about it, a lot. It currently stands at around 19,000 words, whether I upload the rest is another matter entirely! I guess this is just an experiment, if I get some positive feedback I'll consider submitting more. Hope you enjoy.

_I wish I could go on the record saying that none of this was my fault, but sadly I cannot. People may perceive that I was controlled, but in my own mind I am just as guilty as he is. I wanted him to succeed, for reasons I believed to be noble and beneficial to society. When the path to what was morally right and wrong blurred into insignificance, I should have left him right there and then. But my own stupid hopes and dreams for the future kept me in the passenger seat, and I’m a whole lot worse for it. But alas, what’s done is done. I can never gain back what I lost, and I can never reverse the second hand damage I caused._

\--

I had always disliked Dr Hill. His towering stature, paired with his long rectangular head and sunken eyes reminded me of Frankenstein’s monster; it was a comparison I could never fully shake. His intense stares filled me with a helpless fear, even when they weren’t in my direction. And when they were, they stopped me dead in my tracks as if his eyes yanked hard at invisible strings.

It is said the eyes are the pathway to the soul. If that is true, I had it on good authority that Dr Hill was not human.

My impression of him wasn’t improved by his lame attempt to inject humour in today’s lecture, likening the removal of a cadaver’s scalp to ‘peeling a large orange’. A grin queasily stretched its way across his features as a couple of people reacted. I sighed, wondering idly how much longer this lecture was going to last.

Cradling the freshly removed brain in his hands, Dr Hill unwittingly made his first ill-judged statement. ‘Brain death brings about an irreversible conclusion’

Something snapped near my right ear, causing me to flinch. The room froze. I turned around and saw the new guy holding a broken pencil, glaring at Dr Hill. I didn’t even need to turn back to know Dr Hill was returning his expression tenfold. Goosebumps had spread over my forearms like wildfire. I exchanged looks with Dan who was sat behind him. His eyebrows rose blankly, it was clear he was just as baffled as I was. It felt like an eternity before the new guy eventually discarded his pencil and retrieved a new one from his pocket.

The class continued, but I could not. What the hell just happened there? Who was this guy? Even now his glare was still fixed on Hill. I guess it was comforting to know I wasn’t the only student to notice something wasn’t quite right with Hill, but his staring looked downright malicious. He can’t have been on campus for more than a few days. What had Dr Hill done for the new guy to take issue with so swiftly?

On first glance – the short smart haircut, the glasses, the total disregard for everyone around him – I had admittedly pegged him for a teacher pleaser, a socially awkward dork who’d forsake everyone around him just for a decent grade. He had been the first person to arrive this morning and didn’t even acknowledge anyone who walked in. His attention was firmly locked on the notebook on his lap as he wrote. With all this evidence laid out in front of me I really thought I had him sussed, but that cold look he gave Dr Hill threw my entire theory in jeopardy.

To my exasperation, I reengaged with the lecture right as the doctor was beginning to ramble - an all too frequent occurrence only serving to take pride in his own voice. Luckily for me, it wasn’t going to last long.

‘Perhaps, it takes desire. An obsessive desire. Perhaps it takes-‘

I heard another pencil snap, and once again the lecture came to a standstill. Dr Hill’s face was mask of confusion and anger, his mouth firmly clenched. I looked from one person to the next; all were unanimous in their bewilderment. He didn’t wait for him to replace his pencil this time.

‘We will discuss the location of the will in the brain structure at another time. Mr West, I suggest you get yourself a pen! Class dismissed.’

I instinctively breathed a sigh of relief, unaware that the tension in the room had made me hold it. I had just made it to my feet when West jumped off his seat and stormed towards Dr Hill. I watched in awe as he spoke for the first time.

‘How can you teach such drivel?! These people are here to learn and you’re closing their minds before they’ve even had a chance!’

‘What are you here for, Mr West?’ The Doctor struggled to maintain a calm disposition as he threw his gloves into the metal dish in front of him.

‘You know you should have stolen more of Gruber’s ideas so at least you’d have ideas!’

‘MR WEST!’ He yelled, making the whole room jump. Except for West, he didn’t even flinch, if anything his expression hardened further. ‘It’s going to be a pleasure to fail you.’

And with that, Dr Hill left the room.

I stood rooted to the spot whilst people began to file out. I’d been at Miskatonic University for almost 3 years and I’d never seen a student talk to a superior with such disdain. For lack of a better word, I was fascinated. So fascinated that I didn’t realise everyone had already left, everyone except for Mr West. Thankfully he was too occupied with the cadaver to notice me staring at him. He studied the label on its toe like it was the only thing that mattered in the world.

‘So, you’re the student that worked with Hans Gruber…’

He finally broke his gaze, looking up at me blankly.

‘What are you still doing here? Class is over’

‘I could say the same to you. What did Dr Hill do to piss you off so bad?’ His eyes began to narrow as I approached him. I may have been wrong about him being a teacher’s pet, but his social interactions were just as stunted as I imagined.

‘He’s a hack.’ He said simply, focussing his attention back to the label.

Not quite knowing how to respond, I opted for an introduction. ‘I’m Tara, Tara Beckett. Sorry I didn’t catch your first name?’

‘…Herbert.’ Without even glancing at me he walked past to reclaim the notebook from his seat. Turning to a blank page, he wrote something down with a broken, yet still functioning pencil. As he made his way towards the door signed ‘Restricted Area’, my curiosity got the better of me once again.

‘What are you doing?’

He sighed impatiently, this time looking at me straight in the eye as he turned.

‘Isn’t there somewhere else you need to be, Miss Beckett?’

I couldn’t help but emit a small laugh at how worked up he looked, as if I was disrupting some kind of long awaited master plan. His frown deepened.

‘Not really! But if it’s privacy you want, you didn’t have to be so polite. See you around, Mr West’

I swivelled on one foot and made my way towards the exit. Before I passed through into the hall, I turned back just as he advanced towards the other door once again.

‘I wouldn’t do that if I were you, unless you want the next class to find you admiring the corpses’

I felt his glare hit the back of my head as I re-joined the Hospital corridor.


	2. Are you threatening me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘What is that?’ I asked him completely transfixed.  
> ‘This…is my reagent’ He answered.  
> Watching his captivated gaze as he admired his work, it became abundantly clear that this was the love of Herbert West’s life. And the longer I looked at it, the more I understood why.

‘…are you going to say anything or have I suddenly gone deaf?’ Meg was never this quiet, and her troubled look did not console me. Normally I couldn’t get her to shut up about what amazing thing the ‘super boyfriend’ Dan did the other day. It made the walk back to our respective houses considerably longer than it actually was.

‘Dan’s got a new roommate’ she answered finally. After almost three years at Miskatonic, Dan had finally saved up enough to move out of his parents’ house. What had started out as an exciting step into adulthood quickly shifted into uncertainty as Dan didn’t anticipate the vast living expenses incurred through living independently. Without another lodger Dan wouldn’t be able to be financially stable for very long. There was no way Meg could have moved in, not while she was the daughter of the Dean anyway. She could barely spend the night without fearing her father’s judgement.

‘Wow that was quick!’ I exclaimed, Meg had only told me about his roommate search a few days ago. ‘But surely that’s a good thing though? He can afford to keep the house now’

‘Yeah, it’s just his roommate…’

‘What? Is he cute or something?’ I smiled, poking her ribs slyly in the hope of getting a rise out of her ‘has Dan got competition?’

‘What?? No!’ She yelped, a clear cry of disgust in her voice. ‘There’s just something about him I don’t like.’

‘Which is?’

She went silent as she thought, eventually responding with ‘I don’t know, I just don’t’

 ‘Well, there’s not really much you can do about it, it’s Dan’s roommate. Just see how it goes. You never know, he might actually be a nice guy’

‘I doubt it. So how was your lecture?’

‘Hah, interesting! Dr Hill got an earful from the new guy. They were both screaming at each other by the end. I’ve never seen anything like it.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, I thought he was going to be a teacher’s pet, turns out he has a hell of a backbone’

‘Oh yeah? What’s his name?’

‘Herbert’

Meg stopped in her tracks. I was too caught up reliving the moment until three steps later. Her inquisitiveness had quickly turned to grim realisation.

‘…Herbert West??’

The penny dropped.

He’s Dan’s new roommate, isn’t he?’

She nodded.

‘Should have seen that one coming a mile off… I'm still standing by what I said though’

‘You really don’t find something creepy about him?’

‘Meg, he’s fine!’ I reassured her ‘He might have a slight anger problem but he’s just your run of the mill geek. I think he’s just spent too much time cooped up researching with Dr Gruber.’

‘I hope you’re right’

 

‘Hey Herbert, would you like to borrow a pen?’ I didn’t quite know how that joke was going to go down but I couldn’t resist. If I said I didn’t choose to sit next to Herbert to impart my humour on him, I would be lying.

As I partly expected, West glared at me and said nothing.

‘I’ll take that as a no then’

Once again, he said nothing.

‘So…’ I continued, undeterred by his lack of response ‘considering you’ve worked with Hans Gruber and have a fondness of poking around the morgue I can deduce your speciality is death, correct?’

West looked at me again, no glare this time. Instead, his lip curled slightly, something which could have been mistaken for a faint smile.

‘You’re very perceptive’

‘Huh, was that a compliment, Mr West? You flatter me’

‘Depends if you can sense sarcasm or not’

‘Don’t lie, I know you meant it’

He didn’t reply.

‘What do you write about in your notebook? You seemed quite determined to get a look at the stiffs in the morgue yesterday.’

‘It’s none of your business’

‘True, but it might be the business of Dean Halsey if he catches wind of it’

Back to the glare. ‘Are you threatening me?’

‘Depends, would you tell me what you were planning to do with them if I was? As long as it isn’t some kind of kink you have’

That did it. His upper torso shifted to glare at me this time.

‘Just what exactly are you insinuating?’

‘Ooh, someone’s getting defensive!’

‘Be quiet!’

The sudden cease of droning from Dr Holmes made it all too clear that West had spoken little bit louder than he had intended.

‘Mr West, I have been made all too aware of your antics from Dr Hill. Are you determined to disrupt every class you attend?’

‘No sir, on the contrary.’ West replied calmly ‘Miss Beckett keeps attempting to engage me in mindless chit-chat whilst you were explaining the clinical use of barbiturates in neurological disorders.’

I gaped at him, completely at a loss at how he was able to simultaneously keep track of Holmes’ boring speech whilst responding coherently to my inquisition. He looked back, smirking at my ‘deer in the headlights’ expression. He was loving every second of this.

‘Miss Beckett?’

West’s eyebrows rose as if to say _‘Well? Are you going to answer him?’_ , still wearing his spiteful grin. I finally broke contact to look at Holmes, shrinking to the size of a pin.

‘Yes, Dr Holmes?’

‘Are you already familiar with this topic? If so, I am more than happy for you to take over. Shall I take a seat?’

‘No sir.’

‘Well then I implore you to pay attention and not distract your contemporaries.

‘Yes sir, sorry.’

The incessant monotone humming continued.

I could see at the corner of my eye that West was still smiling at me; I then noticed his shoulders moving ever so slightly. He was laughing. I refused to give him the satisfaction of returning my glance, even though the humiliation was boiling in my throat. I’d get my revenge, I vowed. Herbert West had messed with the wrong med student. But for now, all I could do was rub my left temple with my middle finger, slowly and purposely. I heard him chuckle to himself once more as he returned his attention to the lecture, but not before getting in the last words.

‘Huh, was that a retaliation, Miss Beckett? You disappoint me.’


	3. The perfect opportunity

After that embarrassment I couldn’t help but dread assignment night. I was reluctant to face Herbert West for a second time today, a stressful lab shift had seen to that. I was so rushed off my feet I didn’t even have time to change out of my uniform before arriving. Needless to say a coffee was the first point of call as I got through the door.

‘Did you confront him afterwards?’ Meg questioned as she stirred her drink. Dan was hardly going to keep today’s incident to himself. In fact, neither of them kept anything to themselves. Anything one knew, the other would eventually know also. I wasn’t sure whether to admire their synchronicity or be afraid of it.

‘No, I had to rush off to work.’ I replied ‘You were right Meg, he is a creep. Are you sure he won’t be here this evening? I don’t think I could deal with his self-satisfied grin right now, not without punching it at least.’

‘Positive. Dan said he has a night shift tonight so you don’t have to worry. We can just relax and study.’ She smiled and touched my arm reassuringly.

‘I don’t think those words belong in the same sentence!’

We re-joined Dan with our coffees in hand. Dan, being the diligent little geek that he was, had already laid out the relevant textbooks and started writing out the key points. If Herbert was here, I imagine he’d scoff at this amount of prep for an assignment given by a “gutless plagiarist”. I doubt he’d even entertained the notion of attempting it himself. Although with Dr Hill’s threat of failure, I imagined it wouldn’t have made much of a difference either way if he completed it or not.

As I sat down, a familiar, soft feeling brushed against my shins. I leaned over and gently petted Rufus who continued his greeting, purring softly.

‘So what did you say to West to make him shout at you?’ Dan asked, his arm cradling Meg’s waist as soon as she sat. Her instinctive smile spoke volumes.

‘It was nothing;’ I mumbled, unwilling to relive the ordeal ‘I was just messing with him a little about what happened in Hill’s class the other day. I didn’t realise he had a sense of humour deficiency. I can’t believe how defensive he got. It really makes me wonder what he’s like when he’s here, in his home environment’

‘I wouldn’t know’ Dan replied ‘I barely notice he lives here half the time. Sometimes I hear him come home but he goes straight into his room. It’s weird, I think I see him more in class time!’

‘Rufus hates him.’ Meg interjected ‘I remember hearing about this article about how animals have a sixth sense for sensing danger. Rufus disappears every time just before West turns up. It happens too often to ignore, there is something with that guy’

‘Wait a minute’ Dan interrupted, scanning the room ‘where is Rufus?’

I looked down and saw that the purring machine had indeed vanished.

‘He was just by my feet a second ago. You don’t think-?’

The sound of faint footsteps accompanied by the jingle of keys was heard from outside.

‘Oh shit. Dan you said he was working!’ Meg wailed.

‘I thought he was?’ Dan shrugged in genuine confusion.

Sure enough, Herbert West emerged from the front door. As cheerful as ever, he removed his coat and almost impaled it through its hook. He barely glanced in our direction even when Dan started speaking.

‘Hey Herbert, I thought you were working tonight’

‘So did I. Some bright spark decided to alter the rota without informing anyone affected. Unsurprising for a Hospital filled with morons and narcissists.’ His eyes finally clocked on to us, and then on me. He paused for a moment. His look did not convey a warm welcome. ‘Miss Beckett…’

‘Mr West.’ I replied curtly, mirroring his disdain for our inadvertent reunion.

He sighed in exasperation, running his fingers through his hair. It was clear something other than me was frustrating him. Sadly I was the only catalyst there to take the hit.

‘It’s bad enough that I have to endure your presence in class, now you’re in my home too.’

‘Take it easy Herbert.’ Dan said standing up and folding his arms.

As much as I teased him for being a bit of a dweeb, Dan really was a decent guy. I had to admire his attempt to defend me, even if I didn’t need or require it. This was my fight and I wasn’t going to take West’s remarks sitting down.

Herbert was still as I strolled calmly towards him.

‘Actually I was under the impression that you were out for the night, showing those dead bodies a good time. It’s a shame that’s the only way you can get a date.’

‘Tara, stop it’

I felt Dan touch my arm, almost preparing in case I went for West. The thought dangerously crossed my mind when he opened his reprehensible mouth once again. A smirk formed as he voiced his retaliation.

 ‘That’s quite ironic considering that most men would rather die than be anywhere near you.’

The room went deathly quiet before being broken by Meg softly gasping. I think she was more inclined to slap him than I was at that point. I was completely immobilised, unable to say anything.

Dan pushed me to one side to confront him but not before I saw Herbert’s lips curl further as he relished in my reaction. I was still too shocked to respond.

‘Herbert that’s enough, apologise!’

‘I don’t think so. Now if you’ll excuse me.’ He swiftly shrugged off Dan’s grasp on his collar and finally left the room, closing the door to the hallway behind him.

Finally breaking out of my temporary paralysis, I marched straight after him.

‘Tara! Get back here, he’s not worth it!’ Meg called, grabbing my arm.

‘Meg, don’t!’ I wrenched my arm away from her like she was poisonous ‘This is between me and him. Just stay here!’

I quickly entered and ran after West thankfully catching him before he’d fully closed his door. I pushed it back open and without a moment’s hesitation slapped him across the face as he turned to respond.

His glare was so caustic that I almost thought he was going to physically retaliate, but that soon dissolved when his eyes caught something. Not that I particularly cared as I turned to re-join Meg and Dan in the sitting room. My hand reached for the handle when I heard him speak.

‘Do you want to get a drink somewhere?’

I froze. Hesitantly I retracted my hand, unsure if I’d really heard him say that. I stared at him from down the corridor, almost frightened to say anything in case it was just a voice in my head. His fixed expectant gaze confirmed the voice was indeed his.

‘…What did you say?’

‘Come and have a drink with me’

It still wasn’t computing. I walked to confront him closer; his scowl was now nowhere to be seen, replaced by mild contentedness. I was completely at a loss.

‘I’m sorry, what?’ I repeated.

His eyes narrowed in confusion, as if I have having trouble answering a totally rational question. ‘…I thought I’d made myself quite clear’

‘You said men would rather die than be with me and now you’re suddenly asking to take me out for a drink. What the hell is wrong with you? What part of that is clear?’

‘This isn’t one-way, Miss Beckett’ West countered ‘you accused me of sexually assaulting cadavers, that’s hardly complimenting me either. So now we both have our differences out of our systems, let’s go out somewhere. You wanted to get to know me, here is your chance.’

I paused for a second. All rational reasoning told me to say no, and my irrational reasoning told me to say no and slap him again. But instead I said:

‘I can’t’

‘Why not?’

‘The whole reason I’m here is to work on an assignment with Meg and Dan.’

Before I’d even turned around, the hallway door flew open as Dan and Meg appeared.

‘Tara, are you okay??’

Time slowed to a crawl as I reassessed my options. I could do the ethical thing and reassured my best friend that I was fine and continued my assignment, or I could jeopardise it all for an enigmatic stranger who fascinated me like no other. I looked at Herbert, his expression a mixture of vacancy and sternness. There was something secret and guarded behind his eyes that his begrudging demeanour only made all the more tantalising.

All of a sudden, there was nothing I wanted more than to try find out what it was, and I had just been presented with the perfect opportunity.

I burst into tears, shaking my head. Meg ran over and brought me into her arms.

‘What did you do?’ She yelled at Herbert.

‘I didn’t do anything’

‘Liar!’

‘Meg, I really have to go.’ I said, trying to break out of her grasp. The guilt of lying to Meg and Dan permeated me, but I was past the point of no return.

‘No you don’t have to go anywhere. Herbert, get out!’

He laughed, his blatant resentment for Meg ringing clear as a bell.

‘You are aware that I live here, Miss Halsey?’

‘Meg, I just need to go home okay?’

‘…Okay.’ Her grip on me finally loosened.

I caught Herbert’s eyes for the briefest of seconds, and for the first time we connected - He would be waiting for me outside.

‘Good, at least that’s one annoyance out of this house’ Herbert muttered before shutting his door.

‘Dan, I want him gone!’ Meg ordered. I could tell she’d wanted to say those words for a while.

‘As soon as I find a replacement he will be’

I gathered all my things as fast as I could. I didn’t want to leave Herbert waiting too long. Although this was made difficult as Meg fawned over me, trying her best to put me at ease and get me to stay. She even went as far as following me outside.

‘Meg seriously, I’ll be okay’ I reassured her, furiously wiping my eyes. I was finding it hard to stop crying now I’d started. ‘I’ll be back to normal by tomorrow; I just need to be alone’

From the corner of my eye I saw Herbert appear from the back of the house, as he realised Meg was standing there he began to back off a few steps.

‘What did that asshole say to you?’

‘I really don’t want to go into it right now. I’ll tell you tomorrow.’

‘Well, if you’re sure’ Meg said uncertainly ‘do you want me to walk you home?’

‘No I’m okay, honestly. I could do with clearing my head. See you tomorrow’

She hugged me tightly, as if it was the last time I’d ever see her. Walking up the house steps she re-joined Dan who stood in the doorway, they both went inside.

I breathed the biggest sigh of relief when the front door finally shut. Herbert walked across the grass to meet me, a small smile evident on his lips.

He placed his hand on my lower back and guided me to his car which was parked across the street. His car looked like it had come straight from the showroom. The interior was spotless, devoid of even personal effects like cassettes. It was clear the car was purely a means to get from A to B for Herbert, and nothing more.

We sat in silence. I wiped away the remaining tears with the tips of my fingers, trying my best to be subtle. As I caught him watching me I realised I was doing the opposite.

‘Sorry’ I mumbled in a broken voice mixed with nervous laughter. Awkwardness ensued as Herbert’s silence did not seem forgiving.

He sighed as he began looking through his pockets. Seconds later, a handkerchief was thrust in front of my eyes. I paused. Surprised by his oddly warm gesture, I stared at him as I slowly took it. His face, as expected, was devoid of emotion.

‘Thank you’

Herbert didn’t respond to my words of gratitude and started the car.


	4. You're perfect

We stopped at the first bar we came across, unsurprisingly. To my relief it was a relatively quiet establishment but with enough patrons to generate a modest amount of background noise. The last thing I wanted was obnoxious dance music blasting in one ear and Herbert shouting in the other. I ordered a large red wine, an eagerly awaited reward for such a long and stress filled day. Herbert however ordered nothing, causing me to wonder what it was that he ingested to make him function so consistently.

I placed the money on the table. In response the barman just simply smiled at me and said.

‘Looks like you’ve had a hard day Tara, have this one on the house’

I stared at him, my brain completely bypassing the generous offer.

‘How do you know my name?’

His eyes flicked down to my chest, following his eyes I realised he was referring to my work ID badge attached to my front pocket. _Tara Beckett: Laboratory Assistant. Miskatonic University._ Breathing a sigh of relief that the barman wasn’t a creepy stalker, I unclipped my name tag and placed it in my bag, along with my unused dollars. Picking up my glass, Herbert escorted me to a corner table a reasonable distance away from other occupied tables.

Someone familiar caught my eye on one of the tables but I didn’t have time to place him as I was scooted along.

Herbert’s compulsion to almost push me along with him, as if my legs couldn’t move of their own accord, was beginning to get on my nerves. He had said very little on the drive here, but then again I hadn’t offered much in terms of conversation myself. The situation had materialised so suddenly I was uncertain about what to expect from Herbert. Was this a date? Did he have hidden feelings for me which he hadn’t realised himself until I slapped it out of him? His behaviour gave me no indication of any kind. He was emotionless, focussed as if running some kind of clinical examination. He had the whole operation planned out step by step, and I was his oblivious guinea pig. The more I thought about it, the more suspicious I became. What were his motives?

When we sat down, I was determined to start the conversation off.

‘So, here we are…I’m sorry, I’ve got to ask again, why did you invite me out here?’

His tone was clipped as it was when he first spoke to me in Dr Hill’s class. ‘Because I wanted to get to know you better, and since you keep constantly intruding on my business I assumed the feeling was mutual.’

I came to the conclusion that this definitely wasn’t a date. An odd unexpected pang of disappointment hit my stomach. I tried to smother it with a gulp of wine.

‘But you hate me. Don’t deny it, Herbert. You practically breathe fire whenever you lay eyes on me’

‘I don’t hate you, I tolerate you’

‘Oh you tolerate me? Okay. In that case I _really_ don’t understand why we’re here right now. Did I slap you a little too hard?’

‘I have my reasons’

‘Which are?’

‘Personal reasons’

I sighed irritably. ‘Isn’t the point of this little rendezvous to get to know each other? Tell me!’

‘Isn’t the fact that I want to know more about you enough?’ A reaction other than bland un-enthusiasm made me sit back in my seat. His eyes were alight with irritation. ‘You’re the one who’s apparently fascinated with me. You should be relishing this opportunity, so I suggest you stop questioning my motives.’

It became clear I was never going to get anything out of Herbert unless he was the one in control; I had no choice but to back down.

‘Fine, I’m sorry. Ask away.’

‘So you’re a lab assistant. How long have you worked there for?’

‘Not long after I enrolled, about two years’

‘How many types of chemicals are stored at the University?’

‘Enough to make stock checking a real pain in the ass.’ I smiled ‘Why? You interested in becoming a scientist?’

He chuckled, the first genuine laugh I’d heard from him.

‘Perhaps’

Maybe it was Herbert’s smile that awakened me, but I suddenly observed that he hid someone surprisingly handsome under those glasses and that permanently unimpressed scowl. The shock of such a spontaneous thought left me mentally winded for a few seconds. Upon recovery my curiosity surrounding him was instantly reignited.

‘So tell me more about you?’

He stiffened; the amused smile vanished as if my question had taken him completely by surprise. He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms defensively.

‘What about me?’

‘I don’t know. Anything. Tell me about your family’

‘…I don’t have a family’ His tone had swiftly become cold, his eyes only connecting sporadically with mine. I was clearly taking him out of his comfort zone but it didn’t stop my inquiring questions. As far as I was concerned, this could have been my only opportunity to ask.

‘Really? Not even any siblings?’

He shifted in his seat, after a couple of seconds he eventually answered.

‘I have a half-brother’

‘Oh, what’s his name?’

‘…Crawford’

My face dropped, I knew that name instantly. The probability of it being someone else was slim, given its rare usage as a forename.

‘…Crawford Tillinghast?’

He nodded, if he was surprised he didn’t show it. I guess if he attempted to act more engaged he thought it might incite further questions into his personal life.

I had known Crawford since first year, meeting him by chance on induction day. We actually became quite close at one point, but eventually we drifted apart when he started dedicating his time to studying under Dr Pretorius.

Looking at him with enlightened eyes, it suddenly dawned on me how closely Herbert resembled him. The same dark brown hair though styled slightly differently, the same face shape, even the same green eyes. You’d almost be forgiven for thinking they were the same person. As I gazed at him, I casually pondered if I would struggle to tell them apart if Herbert took off his glasses. With all these discoveries erupting in my mind I wondered if this was why I took a keen interest in Herbert in the first place. There were times when I had seriously considered dating Crawford, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask him. There was a mutual physical attraction between us (We’d drunkenly kissed at a house party a year ago, but nothing came of it) but a part of me was terrified he didn’t have any feelings for me beyond that. I didn’t want to risk hurting our friendship.

 With my epiphany finally reaching its conclusion, I realised I hadn’t responded to Herbert- not that he seemed particularly interested in listening to whatever I had to say anyway. His posture was still, grimly awaiting my presumably rambling response with a blank disinterested look. I almost tripped over myself as I began to craft a reply.

‘W-We used to hang out quite a bit when he was at Uni. I haven’t seen him since he went to study under Dr Pretorius a few months ago. I can’t believe I didn’t figure this out sooner. You two are remarkably alike, in looks I mean. Have you spoken to him since-’

Having about as much as he could take, Herbert sprung back into life.

‘Do you have full access to the lab?’

I paused, taken aback by his rude interruption. With a defeated sigh, I brushed it off and replied. ‘I guess. I’m only an assistant. I mainly get ordered around a lot. I have my own set of keys for everything though, which is pretty handy if I wanted to start my own meth lab. Ha ha.’

Herbert’s eyes lightened considerably.

‘You’re perfect.’

Confronted with another unforeseen response from Herbert, my face froze briefly as my brain stopped in its tracks.

‘…Huh?’

Reaching into his pocket, he retrieved his black notebook and opened it on the correct page without needing to search. He placed it on the table in front of me.

‘Are any of these readily available?’

I stared at him doubtfully. This was going beyond casual interest. My suspicions began to bubble to the surface again.

‘Why do you want to know…?’

‘Just humour me for a moment’

I read through the list under Herbert’s intense gaze. It was abundantly clear how important this notebook was to him. I was far from humouring him. I knew what this meeting was really all about, and what he was looking at when his anger softened. He was using me. I don’t know why it surprised me as much as it did.

‘I recognise some of these.’ I answered bluntly. Losing my temper and slapping him for the second time tonight was admittedly tempting, but with the added danger of drawing attention to myself out in public, it was something I’d be more inclined to consider after a few more glasses of red. ‘I’d have to look in more depth on my next shift’

‘And when is that?’

I picked up my glass and downed the rest of my drink. He stared at me expectantly, waiting for an answer. The glass clinked loudly as I placed it hard on the table.

‘Goodbye, Herbert’

His eyes widened as I stood up to leave.

‘What? - wait…Tara, where are you going? We’re not finished.’ He jumped out of his seat to follow.

I spun around, unable to restrain myself any further. ‘What do you really want, Herbert?’ I kept my voice as composed as my emotions would allow. ‘No more bullshit, tell me the truth.’

With a sigh he finally cut to the chase. ‘I need you to help me.’

_My name-tag. He must have noticed it after I slapped him. That explains the change in attitude._

‘So you want to use me to gather resources for some kind of dangerous experiment behind the university’s back. Is that right?’

‘It’s not dangerous.’ He snapped irritably at me, his frown forming two creases in his brow ‘I have conducted it before many ti-’

‘Herbert, I don’t care!’ His apparent spell over me had been completely dissolved. I now saw right through him. ‘I’m not interested. I’ll see you in class.’

I walked past him and left. A gust of cool air welcomed me as I broke through the doors, an appreciated break from the stuffy bar and the claustrophobic tension which clutched me.

Just as I was beginning to relax, my keen hearing alerted me that the tension was in pursuit. A hand grabbed my arm and Herbert’s cold eyes greeted me once again. He cut me off as soon as I opened my mouth.

‘I told you I wasn’t finished. Is it possible for you to listen for once in your life instead of saying whatever nonsense pops into your head? Don’t you realise what I have discovered will change the world of modern medicine.’

‘Modest as always.’ I said, completely unenthused by his claim. ‘If it’s that incredible, go to Halsey about it. Why am I suddenly so important?’

He sighed, gritting his teeth as he spoke ‘He doesn’t believe me.’ He reluctantly muttered ‘In fact I was only enrolled into the University on the condition I never spoke of it again.’

‘And yet here you are. For a man with such intelligence, you’re kind of lacking in common sense aren’t you?’

Herbert sighed in an attempt to let that insult slip by unrequited. His hands still gripped my forearms as he persisted.

‘I can show you. I have enough left for one more experiment. Then you will help me.’

Herbert’s tone was not an asking one, but this whole ordeal had tired me to the extent where I just wanted to sleep for a very long time.

‘Herbert, I’m going home now. Let go of me.’

I struggled again to get my arms free, but in doing so caused his hands to slip into my own. As I tried to wrench myself away from him, his strong grip quickly pulled me against his chest. I was momentarily robbed of my voice as I felt his breath against my skin. His briefly widening eyes implied that he had pulled me with more force than he intended. We were locked in an awkward, silent embrace, neither of us sure what move to make. Our hands remained held, our eyes stared and time stood still.  He pressed his lips together, out of anticipation or unease I wasn’t sure. After a few agonising seconds, his eyes suddenly shifted, as if he’d awoken from a trance. He dropped my hands as if they burnt him and took a small step back. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he tried to assess what had just happened. Upon failing that he cleared his throat and gave his ultimatum.

‘Just come back to the house with me. If you’re still not interested after I demonstrate, we will never speak again. But I promise you, if you walk away right now, you will regret it for the rest of your life.’

Despite the tiredness and the many reasons why I shouldn’t associate with a man such as West, he still fascinated me, even more so than ever. I feared it would eventually be my undoing.

‘…Okay’


	5. Families

‘So what is this great Earth shattering discovery then?’ With all the new questions building up inside of me I had no intention of keeping silent on the car journey back.

‘You’ll see’

‘Right’

I thought that would be the end of the conversation. Our little scuffle had not improved Herbert’s attitude towards me even slightly despite the fact I was now complying. I fully expected bruises on my upper arm by morning. After a few seconds of silence, Herbert uncharacteristically resumed our chat.

‘So, tell me about your family’

Given his fixation on my day job in the bar I was slightly taken aback by his question. I stared at him confused.

‘Oh so now you’re interested?’

‘No, but it’s better than silence’

‘I was an only child. My parents live in Boston...That’s about it. I always wanted a sibling but it…just never came about. Did you get on with Crawford when you were ki-’

‘I don’t want to talk about him.’ He snapped coldly ‘Let’s just keep this exchange on you.’

‘Why do you have such a problem talking about yourself?’

‘I have my reasons and I’m not discussing them with you.’

‘Or anyone else, right?’

‘Correct.’

‘Thought so. I really pity you, Herbert. How do you go through life without opening up to someone once in a while? I can’t imagine how lonely you must feel.’

‘I’m perfectly fine, I prefer it this way.’

‘Because then you don’t get hurt.’

‘Friends and family are an unnecessary distraction. I have more important matters to focus on.’

‘Of course you do. Who needs a loving family eh?’

‘You know nothing about my family.’

‘Your parents are dead, aren’t they Herbert?’

Our quick fire chat ceased to a grinding halt. The few seconds of silence felt more like minutes.

‘Enough, Tara.’

‘Why are you shutting Crawford out? He’s your broth-’

‘Damn it Tara, I said enough!’ Herbert’s voice cracked like a whip, I flinched into silence.

The silence didn’t last long, however. From his hard expression and tightened lips I realised I had crossed the line. Whatever troubled Herbert in his younger years was no concern of mine. I had been so caught up in wondering what made him tick I had lost sight of that fact. In an effort not to sour the remaining journey, I let loose one of my own demons. Unlike Herbert, I had no qualms about sharing my pain. It eased my mind, if only temporarily.

‘My best friend died when I was twelve. He was called Charlie. We were inseparable outside of school, I used to take him for walks, play fetch with him, feed him…’ I paused when I noticed Herbert’s confused expression. ‘I guess I should probably mention Charlie was a dog! He was essentially my surrogate sibling. My childhood would have been a lot lonelier without him. My parents tried so hard for another baby after me, but for whatever reason they just couldn’t. My mother kept miscarrying again and again. Rebecca was her last try. My mother miscarried too late for her to be aborted surgically. Instead she had to be birthed. It was a long time before I stopped hearing my mother crying herself to sleep...Anyway I digress.

‘It was a cold Friday afternoon; I’d just come home from school. Normally by the sound of my key in the lock, Charlie would be by my feet within seconds. But he wasn’t that day. I searched every room, calling him, but I couldn’t find him. My father arrived home shortly, I asked him where Charlie was and then I noticed his tears. He had just come back from the Vet. Charlie ran into the road after seeing the neighbour’s cat. He had run so quickly that the driver of the car didn’t even register him until the almighty crunch under his wheels. He died instantly.’

‘And the cat?’

Herbert’s sudden interruption threw me out of my thoughts. I looked blankly at him.

‘…What?’

‘The cat. Did it also perish?’

‘No, the little shit head passed directly under the car, completely unharmed. Our neighbour she…she was a fucking evil old witch; she tried to sue us for animal cruelty. She said that Gatsby had suffered “grave psychological scarring”, just after we had arranged a cremation for Charlie. I hated cats for years after that. If Charlie hadn’t seen Gatsby that in that moment in time, would he still be alive today. I almost drove myself insane thinking about it again and again. I guess if he had to die that’s the way I would have wanted it, no pain just instant. My only regret was never being able to say goodbye to him, it’s not as if I could ever bring him back or turn back time. There’s not much point in dwelling on it, but I often find that I do anyway. It’s so pathetic.’

As expected, Herbert offered no reply of sympathy or comfort. The rest of the car journey was spent in silence. Herbert pulled into the space he’d set off from earlier and stopped the car. I motioned to unclip my seatbelt when he suddenly spoke. I paused.

‘Neither Crawford or myself have any desire to speak with each other. It was an unspoken mutual agreement. And that’s all you need to know.’

I nodded and opened the passenger door.

 


	6. Harvey

The house was in darkness when we returned. Thanks to a nearby street lamp shining through the window, I swiftly scanned the notes Dan was working on before we left. By the complexity of his answers I assumed he had already finished. I wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved or worried that he had completed the assignment so quickly. Dan’s brightness far outshone many of his classmates, myself included. Herbert’s intellect I was just about to discover, if his vibrant claims bared any fruit.

As we moved through the house, the only sounds I could hear were my own footsteps, each one carefully placed after another. Herbert’s feet on the other hand sounded like they barely touched the floor.

‘It’s quiet’ I finally said, following him into his bedroom. ‘Almost too quiet. How long have we been gone?’

Herbert looked at his watch. ‘Just under an hour.’

I heard shuffling from the next room. ‘You don’t think they’re…?’ As if right on cue, the shuffling had turned into muffled squeaking and moaning. ‘Oh wait, yup. Thought so.’

Herbert grunted in disgust. ‘Animals…’

‘Jealous, Herbert?’

‘Certainly not.’ He answered defiantly. ‘I have more important things to focus on than to mindlessly indulge in a repugnant physical urge.’

Knowing how dedicated and focussed he was, Herbert’s responses were something I’d now come to expect. I silently giggled as he adamantly rejected the one thing he so desperately needed without even knowing it.

‘You’ve never been in love, have you Herbert?’

He snorted ‘Of course not, it’s absurd. Why would anyone allow themselves to be controlled and manipulated by such a pathetic emotion? My work is infinitely more stimulating and beneficial.’

As much as I believed he was entirely convinced by what he was saying, I wondered if his words would still resonate if Herbert ever was confronted by love.

‘Love isn’t really something you allow or disallow yourself to experience, Herbert. It’s a very insidious emotion, it pounces on you when you least expect it. When it finds you, there’s no stopping it.’

‘Nonsense.’

_Probably_ I thought, refuting my previous ponderings. He’d most likely keep his word on principle, even if his heart said otherwise. I couldn’t help but pity him.

‘You have a very strong opinion for someone with no experience.’

‘I have no need or desire to experience either love or intercourse.’ He flatly stated.

The fact that Herbert was a virgin failed to surprise me in any way. However before my internal censor had a chance to query, my sense of humour got the better of me.

‘And I suppose masturbation is out of a question too?’

He briefly froze, his eyes narrowed and arms crossed as he turned to reprimand me for what seemed like the millionth time. The longer he stared, the wider my smile became.

‘That is none of your business. Do you find it gratifying when you ask me such inappropriate questions?’

I openly laughed as he stared me down, his arms still crossed like a petulant child. When he continued to glare at me after my initial amusement had subsided, I realised his question was not rhetorical.

‘I’m sorry; your reactions make it worth it every time.’

‘I’m sure you wouldn’t appreciate it if I enquired about your sexual proclivities. Grant me the same courtesy.’

My smile remained glued to my face; I couldn’t take his scolding tone seriously despite my best efforts.

‘Yes Herbert, sorry Herbert.’

After retrieving an item from a nearby drawer, Herbert knelt down and reached into his fridge. Just when I was about to ask why he had a fridge in his bedroom in the first place, he pulled out a small plastic bottle holding a liquid so luminous green it almost rendered the lightbulb redundant.

It was unlike anything I’d ever seen before. I knelt closely beside him, unable to take my eyes off the strange yet inviting vial.

‘What is that?’ I asked him completely transfixed.

‘This…is my reagent’ He answered.

Watching his captivated gaze as he admired his work, it became abundantly clear that this was the love of Herbert West’s life. And the more I looked at it, the more I understood why. Allowing me to take the bottle from his careful grasp; he watched as I became infatuated as he was. I felt his secret smile graze my skin.

‘It’s…beautiful.’ I finally found the words to say. The serum flowed elegantly inside the vial like silk as I studied it closely in my hands.

My concentration was broken by the sudden flash of a syringe. He tested the plunger slowly by moving it between his skilled fingers. As he turned his attention back towards me I promptly returned the bottle into his custody.

‘With some luck, it should be sufficient for my test subject.’ He noted as he opened the fridge once more. He then brought out the ‘star’ of our little show: A small and very deceased white rat. A rat I was already all too familiar with.

‘Harvey?!’ I gasped. That little shit of a rodent turned out to be the reason I had such a miserable shift that afternoon. Harvey had managed to get himself loose earlier in the day. Leaving it to me to trek the university grounds to try and recover him. Needless to say I was unsuccessful. ‘I spent half of my shift today looking for that little bastard. Where was he?’

‘Just outside of the University. It was dead when I found it.’

Harvey laid flat on his back in a position not unlike how a dog would pose if asked to play dead. His eyes were closed in an almost certain eternal sleep.

‘Poor thing, I hope he didn’t suffer too badly.’

‘I can’t imagine it did.’ Herbert said, his voice subtly layered with disinterest. His concentration was immovable from his actions as he filled the needle with the remains of the reagent. ‘There aren’t any signs of external injury. It most likely suffocated.’

I followed Herbert’s every move as if hypnotised. He carefully lifted Harvey’s head as he injected the serum into the base of his skull, presumably into the brain. The green aura which had coated the room then vanished. Herbert discarded the syringe and we waited.

‘Nothing’s happening’ I said after a few seconds of silence. The tension affected me more than I thought it would, making each second feel like ten.

‘Be patient.’ Herbert’s demeanour resembled a statue compared to my own, his eyes rapidly switching between Harvey and his watch.

Just when I was beginning to think that all Herbert’s words were just a product of narcissism, Harvey’s eyes saw the light of day once more. They darted wildly around the room. My hand shot out and clutched Herbert’s thigh in perplexed horror. He glared briefly at the sudden intrusion on his person but made no effort to remove it. He was far too interested in my reaction as my eyes threatened to bulge out of my skull.

‘Oh my god. Herbert, his eyes! What’s going on?’

‘Re-animation in fourteen seconds.’ I could almost hear his proud grin through his voice.

Harvey’s limbs started to twitch and tremble in a frantic bid to reverse the effects of the rigor mortis he had previously succumbed to. It was a disturbing yet fascinating process to behold. I could not have torn my gaze from it even if I tried.

‘This…I…What, how?’ My brain was so overloaded by what I was taking in I had forgotten how to form sentences. Harvey eventually rolled onto his front and took baby steps towards my cupped hands. Herbert watched us silently. ‘This is incredible…it’s like he never died in the first place. I can’t believe Halsey didn’t believe you.’ After perching on the palms of my hands, I lifted Harvey onto my shoulder. I thought nothing of it at the time as this was how I played with all of the lab rats. What happened next changed this habit forever. ‘This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever-.’ My train of thought was derailed when I felt a sharp sting, I gasped in shock. Harvey had sunk his teeth into the side of my neck, he relinquished and bit down again, repeating this action over and over. My breath died in my throat. ‘Ow, ow. Herbert. Herbert. He’s-he’s biting me, get it off!!!’

Herbert sighed irritably as if I was the one who ruined his experiment. He grabbed my shoulders, violently swivelling me around to face him. I kept my eyes focussed on his in an attempt to distract myself from the imminent agony and the familiar trickling sensation which inched closer towards my collar bone. Gazing deep into his eyes, I saw no trace of fear within them. He was stern and composed against my constant squirming and helpless cries.

If I wasn’t currently hurtling dangerously towards a panic attack I might have noted what an outstanding doctor he was going to make someday.

‘Okay, stay still. Don’t panic.’ He ordered, carefully closing his hand around Harvey’s mid-section. His teeth were still firmly implanted in my neck, refusing to unleash.

‘Don’t panic??’ I shrieked between frightened breaths. His composure didn’t influence mine in the slightest, not when the warm trickling sensation was intensifying more and more with each passing second. ‘He’s trying to kill me!’

‘Don’t be ridiculous. Just keep still’

‘Herbert, please get it off!’ I closed my eyes as tight as I could to keep from bursting into tears as my body trembled beyond my control.  

‘I said hold still!’ I felt him grab my other shoulder for leverage and in an attempt to keep me steady. With one swift pull, he finally wrenched Harvey away from me. My eyes shot open in relief. Herbert stared at Harvey as he tried to bite anything that got into his reach.

‘Quick, get me something to put it in!’

Mere seconds after I had shakily gotten myself to my feet, Harvey craned his neck to feast on Herbert’s thumb. With a grunt he dropped the beast onto the floor and instinctively brought his hands to his chest.

‘Damn it!’

Without thinking, I slammed my foot down hard before he got a chance to run. His skeleton crumpled effortlessly under my shoe like paper. The sickening crunch that accompanied it chilled me to the bone.

‘Herbert?’ Dan’s voice called out from the hall. We froze and stared at each other with widened eyes.

‘Wonderful. You disturbed the lovebirds.’ He said accusingly, his trademark glare returning to its rightful place.

I gaped at him, after being responsible for this whole ordeal I almost expected Herbert to be more sympathetic. I was disappointed in my own naivety.

‘Are you seriously blaming me?! That thing almost ate me alive!’ I furiously whispered. Lifting my foot I reluctantly inspected Harvey’s purified remains. Vomiting was both the first and last thing on my mind. I fished Herbert’s handkerchief out of my pocket to stem the bleeding on my neck.

‘Just leave it there, we’ll dispose of it later!’ He said hastily pushing me towards his bed. The head of it was conveniently hidden around the corner from the door, keeping me out of sight should Dan decide to scan the room. Noting how sodden with blood my shirt was, I unbuttoned and slid it off my shoulders before resting against Herbert’s head board. I couldn’t stand to feel the blood on my skin anymore, it was making it crawl.

‘Herbert? Are you in there?’

The door opened just after Herbert noticed my partial undressing. His bemused stare was priceless.  His mouth formed a small ‘o’ and his eyebrows furrowed. I didn’t need a lip reader to know what he was going to say.

No doubt Dan caught it slightly before Herbert had a chance to neutralise. He quickly cleared his throat before he spoke.

‘Dan, have you ever heard of knocking? What do you want?’

Given my position, it was impossible to see Dan without being spotted. His voice sounded gruff with fatigue, I suspected that Meg heard the screams and sent a reluctant Dan to investigate.

‘Sorry Herbert. I was wondering, do you have somebody else in there with you?’

Without thinking anything of it I decided to look at my watch, but as I had previously slid my shirt down my arms, my sleeve had now obscured it.

‘Of course not’ Herbert snapped ‘what would give you that impression?’

In one swift motion I lifted my elbow to return my shirt to its original position. Fortunately the movement worked and I could now see the time, but unfortunately my elbow met Herbert’s alarm clock in the process, knocking it over with an audible clunk.

I froze. The room went quiet. Herbert glared heatedly in my direction but had no time to chide me as Dan’s head began to slowly peer around. Herbert quickly grabbed the doorframe, blocking me from view.

‘What do you think you’re doing? Do I burst into your bedroom and take a look at Miss Halsey whilst you’re in mid-coitus?’

My mouth dropped open. I think Herbert’s would have too if he didn’t have to keep up the pretence of what his strange mind had just come up with. Being an awkward silence magnet as of late, I think I could safely say this was by far the most uncomfortable one yet, and I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be topped. Dan eventually broke the silence much to my relief.

‘But…you’re not undressed…?’

A valid point. Herbert wasn’t the type of dresser to leave anything even slightly unbuttoned. I awaited his response with a crude mix of discomfort and intrigue.

‘…who said I was on the receiving end?’

I stifled a laugh; I had to admire Herbert’s quick thinking. I could only picture Dan’s face right now. A mask of extreme discomfort and regret. It looked incredible.

Feeling the need to support his claims, I reached forward with my un-bloodied arm and took hold of his tie, pulling it gently. In the most sultry and hopefully unrecognisable voice I could create on the spot I said.

‘That will change when you come back to bed, Herbie…’

From the look he shot me in response, I knew instantly to never call him that again. I was sorely tempted to break cover and peer around the door just to get a glimpse of Dan’s reaction. He definitely got more than he bargained for when he first knocked.

‘Anyway, if you’ll excuse us’ He said to Dan before shutting the door in his presumably mortified face.

‘Yes, of course. Sorry Herbert.’ I heard him reply, an audible sigh of relief in his voice that the conversation was finally over.

As soon as the door closed Herbert’s face warped into a scowl. He slapped my hand off his tie in one swift motion.

‘Was that necessary?’

‘It had to be convincing didn’t it?’ I nonchalantly responded.

‘No…I meant the…’ As he trailed off I noticed a rare glimmer of awkwardness as he gestured towards my chest without making eye contact. Maybe he wasn’t asexual after all. ‘…blouse removal. I meant what I said earlier, I have no interest in-.’

‘Oh don’t flatter yourself, Herbert’ I snorted, buttoning up my shirt again to appease him. The steadily congealing blood on the sleeves felt freezing against my skin as it trailed up my arm and back onto my shoulder. ‘I didn’t want to get blood on your bed linen.’ I paused, debating whether I should say what I said next. ‘Anyway, I prefer guys that don’t turn rats into zombies.’

His offended reaction was proof that I’d made the right choice. ‘How dare you.’ He thundered ‘I’ve successfully brought a deceased rodent back to life! I have singlehandedly defeated death!’

‘For rats, maybe. Have you ever experimented on a human subject?’

Herbert went suspiciously silent, I instantly regretted my question. My remorse was exacerbated when Herbert’s past suddenly clicked into place. The news of Doctor Gruber’s death shortly before his arrival wasn’t a coincidence. Herbert didn’t leave, he was made to leave. It seemed so obvious now. Halsey’s strong aversion to Herbert’s work also began to make sense. It was common knowledge around the University that he and Gruber were long-time friends. Herbert turned away when he caught my look of realisation.

‘Oh my god’ I gaped at him incredulously. ‘That’s why you left. You killed Doctor Gruber!’

‘No I did not.’ Herbert vehemently denied, turning to face me once again. ‘He had a heart attack. It was too late for me to save him. For all I knew it would have been my only opportunity to test my reagent on a fresh human specimen, I had to attempt it!’

‘What happened?’

He visibly grimaced as if it pained him to even think about it. I cursed my curiosity once again. If the answer to my question disturbed the normally unflappable Herbert West, what hope was there for me? I braced myself for his explanation.

‘Previously I had only experimented on smaller mammals and rodents. I overcompensated on the dosage. I can’t quite comment on what happened internally, they wouldn’t let me examine the body afterwards, at least not for long enough to gain definitive results. But…not long after the re-animation process…he had a seizure, then…’ His mouth twitched in unveiled revulsion ‘his eyes burst out of their sockets.’

My jaw dropped, closely followed by my stomach. I no longer wished that I hadn’t asked the question. I now wished to be as far away from him as possible. I rushed past him and picked my purse from off the floor.

‘Herbert, I need to go.’

‘Go where?’

‘Home’

Herbert jumped in front of my path to the door. I became anxious, realising that I had already gotten in too deep. Herbert had me right where he wanted.

‘But we need to go to the laboratory tonight. The quicker we can get to work, the better.’

I stared at him, he couldn’t really be serious.

‘Now? Are you insane? Herbert, I’m tired. I just want to go to sleep.’ I tried to sidestep him but it was no use. His expression turned sour.

‘You can sleep when I have what I need.’ His demanding tone and glowering demeanour did nothing for his powers of persuasion.

‘No Herbert, I’m going home.’ I repeated, standing my ground ‘I need time to think this through.’

‘What is there to think over?’

‘What is…? Are you…?’ My voice died in my throat, unable to form a question that fully encapsulated my disbelief. How could someone this intelligent be so socially backward? I stepped closer until we were mere centimetres apart. I glared right into his eyes which narrowed in response.

‘Herbert, do you understand what kind of a risk I’m taking if I help you out? I could get fired, better yet, expelled. I know that doesn’t mean shit to you but it sure as hell does to me. This is my life. Why should I put my whole career on the line for a man like you?’

Herbert’s reply bordered on autonomous ‘Because the future of medicine depends on me’ pausing, he took my hands in his ‘on us’

I dropped them in disgust, swiftly backing away. ‘Stop it Herbert! Get away from me! I can’t do this.’

‘Yes you can, Tara.’

My heartrate increased of its own accord as he advanced towards me. He held my forearms, his piercing eyes pinned me in place. The reckless determination which danced in them forced me to hang off his every word, powerless to do anything but listen.

‘Just think of the millions of people we could save. People that have had their lives snatched away by cruel twists of fate, we can give them a second chance.’

I was staring at him with such intensity my eyes were beginning to water. The passion in Herbert’s words and voice was so remarkably bewitching.

‘What would you have given to see Rebecca grow up? He continued. ‘To have a sibling, to have happy parents free of guilt and depression. With my reagent, no one would ever have to suffer the pain and torment your family went through. Death could be completely eradicated. We could make grieving extinct.’

Herbert waited patiently for a response, but unfortunately for him he had rendered me utterly speechless. Everything he said made total sense and it scared me. Herbert was right, he was completely right. There were many dark moments in my childhood that I wouldn’t wish on anybody. This would have been my way to prevent it from happening. I forced myself to speak through my mutism.

‘I…I…’

There was an almighty crash just outside Herbert’s window, followed by some muffled screeching. We both flinched, distracted by the intrusion.

‘What was that?’ I slowly moved towards the window, scanning outside for the disturbance. It didn’t take me long to notice the trash can had toppled over, spilling garbage onto the lawn. It took me a couple of seconds longer to notice a black blur writhing next to it, something shiny glinted in the light of the street lamp. I realised who it was.

‘Rufus..?’ The shiny object was a jam jar lodged on the poor cat’s head. He was suffocating. Opening the window, I jumped out to free him. Herbert, who was stood behind me, followed suit.

‘Tara, wait!’

Before I could get to him, Herbert’s arms snaked around my waist and wrists, immobilising me. Despite his small frame, he was impossible to outmanoeuvre.

‘What the hell are you doing?’ I struggled against him wildly ‘Let go of me! He’s going to suffocate!’

He squeezed me tightly, momentarily preventing any further squirming or yells. ‘Look at him’ He commanded ‘even if we do free it, it’s already lost too much oxygen. Just let it die.’

‘Herbert, no!’ I struggled again ‘We’ve got to save him!’

‘Think of Gatsby.’ His soft lips pressing against my ear as he spoke. ‘How many nights have you dreamt about him dying instead of Charlie? Just picture it for a minute.’

‘Herbert, please. Don’t do this.’ My movements began to falter beyond my control.

‘Gatsby is getting what he deserved.’ He continued, almost seductive in his tone. ‘He killed your best friend.’

‘Please…’ I breathed, my resolve weakening further.

‘Just let it happen, Tara. For Charlie. For me.’

I finally surrendered. He rested his head against mine as Rufus took his last breaths. Still holding me, we watched as the life slowly drained out of him.

Herbert West had won.

 


End file.
